iHave Secrets
by SeddieFan
Summary: Something has happened to Sam. But can anyone help her? Maybe the guy that she always picks on can.
1. iAm Sorry I Hurt You

Normal Pov (that means that it is the narrators)

Carly and Freddie were discussing about their history test coming up in fourth period by the lockers. (School hasn't started yet)

Sam came up about five minutes later. She was wearing a black hoodie (it was on) with long sleeves, black long jeans, black high-top converse and her pear pod earphones on with it on the highest volume it can go to separate herself from the world. She went to her locker and ignored everything around her, including Carly and Freddie. She wanted the world to be isolated and empty. She didn't want to live in it anymore, either.

"Hey Sam" Carly said. Sam didn't even hear her. By the pear phone.

"Hey Sam" Freddie said. No answer.

"HEY SAM!!" Sam heard her but didn't flinch by her yelling; she just took off her earphones and put her music on pause.

"What?" she said careless?

"What are you listening to? Freddie asked

"You made take off my earphones just to ask me what I am listening to."

"Sam, I am just trying to make conversation"

"Fine. I am listening to, "the last resort" by papa roach. Are you happy now?"

"The last resort? Isn't that song about suicide?" Freddie asked.

"So? What is your point?" she said, annoyed.

Freddie sighs. "Nothing"

"Sam, why are you dressing like that?"

"Dressing like what?"

"Dressing- dressing like a…. like a rocker?"

"Maybe I like dressing this way. Do you have a problem with that?" she said offended.

"Well, no I guess but why are you- Sam!!" Carly yelled.

Sam already put on her earphones and pressed "play"

"Sam, why did you out on your earphones when I am talking to you?" Carly asked, raising her voice.

She took them off again.

"Maybe because I don't want to talk to you. Either of you" she said.

Carly eyes stung.

"Sam…" she said, reaching towards her. As soon as she touched her, Sam winced and pulled away.

"Just… leave me alone. Both of you" Sam said, and walked away.

Carly eyes stung but she refused to let her tears fall. She looked at Freddie.

"What is wrong with her?" Carly asked.

"I don't know. But I am going to find out"

*back to Sam*

After Sam left Carly and Freddie alone in the hallways, she decided to ditch school and went to the park.

As soon as she got there, she went inside the slide (it was one of those tube shaped slides) and tears started to fall from her face. And thought to herself,

"_I'm sorry Carly. I'm sorry Freddie. I'm sorry I hurt you both. But I can't let you know what is going on, if I want to live…. Well come to think of it, I don't know if I want to live anymore."_

That is the end of this chapter. I hoped you enjoy it.

P.s

I do like review: D


	2. iAm Not Going To Tell You

Normal Pov:

Sam arrived at school with another black hoodie, the hoodie is on and covering her face, black jeans, eyeliner, converse, and she had her pear pod on again. She went to her locker and sees that Freddie is there waiting for her.

_He is probably just waiting for Carly_, she thought.

As soon as he saw him move towards her, she started to walk the other direction. She didn't want to talk to anyone. Especially him.

He caught up to her and grabbed her arm. She winced but didn't let him see. She pulled her arm away and she started to walk again.

"Sam. Sam. Sam! Sam talk to me" Freddie said.

She turned around. "Why should I talk to you?" she said, venom dripping on every word she said.

"Oh gee I don't know maybe because you have barely spoken to me and Carly for 2 weeks. What happened Sam? Why are you like this? Why are you dressing like that? Why did you separate yourself from the world? Why are you always wearing hoodies and listening to your pear pod?" he asked.

"Who are you? Dr. Phil? Why should you know about this? It's none of your business. And it's not carly either and I know you are only doing this because Carly told you to so do us both a favor…. Go away!!!!" she turned around and started to walk away.

"Carly didn't tell me to do anything" he said.

She heard him and she stopped for a second but then she started to walk again.


	3. iDon't Want To Live

Sam's Pov:

I get on the bus to go home because I decide to skip school, I don't want to be there heck, I don't want to be anywhere. I put on my pear pod and start to listen to music. Music separates me from the world. The place I don't want to be.

My phone starts to ring. I take off my earphones and put the music on pause.

"Unknown number" oh god. Please don't be-

"Hello?" trying to sound careless when in reality, I was terrified. How did he get my number?

"_Did you tell anyone?"_ he asked. I started to shake and I feel my eyes stinging.

"No. no I didn't tell anyone"

"_Good. Because if you do, I will know, and I will kill you"_

"I know. Don't worry, I want tell anyone"

"_You better not"_

"How did you my phone number?" I said, trying to sound threatening when he was the one threatening me.

"_Let's just say that I have ways. You tell anyone about this or anything, you know what is coming. I know everything you are doing. I know where you live. I know you are on the bus right now going home to ditch school. And… I know you fear me"_

And with that, he hung up.

I can't believe this. He knows where I live. He has my phone number. He knows what I do every second of the day. I can't tell my friends what is going on because he will kill me.

The bus stops and I get out. I arrive home, open the door and head towards my room.

I don't even bother saying hi to my mom anymore. She is always at work or drunk or playing "hooker". Yeah that is her job. She is a hooker. I am so proud of her. (Sarcasm)

I close the door and fall on my bed. And I slowly fall asleep.

_Sam's dream:_

_I am getting home. I am getting home to get clothes so I can stay at Carly's house. It is around 11 at night. I am going through the alley because I missed the bus and I have to go this way to get home._

_As I went through the alley, a dark figure came towards me. I tried to run but he kept getting closer and closer. I ran as fast as I can but then he jumped on me and he was on top of me. I tried to fight him off and kick him in his "protective area" but he pinned me down._

"_Now listen and listen well. You are going to do what I tell you to do and if you don't, I am going to use this" he pulled out his knife and held it against my neck._

"_You got it?" I nod, tears falling down my face. He removed the knife and he smiled like an evil monster. He is an evil monster._

"_Good. Now, take off your pants"_

_I stayed still. He still pinned me down. He got off of me but he made sure I was lying down._

"_Fine. If you don't want to, then I will do it" he hands moved to my pants and he zipped down my pants…_

"STOP!!!" I yell. I wake up all sweaty, hot, and tears are falling from my face. I pull my legs up and I put my head between my knees. I wished this never happened.

I hate him. I hate him so much. I wish this never happened. Why did he have to do this to me?

I hate my life. I wish I would just die. And this time…

It's not a lie.

The end of the chapter has come!!


	4. iDont Want This To Happen

I hate my life. I really do. I want to die. I don't want to be here anymore.

When I get to school, I see Carly and Freddie standing by my locker. Crap. They are going to talk "sense" into me. They are going to try figure out what is wrong with me.

They walk towards me and I stay still.

Freddie is the first to talk,

"Hey Sam" wow. What an ice breaker. Nice one Freddork.

I didn't say anything until about 20 seconds later.

"Hi"

Carly opens her mouth.

"Ok, I am just going to say it. Sam you are-" I stop her right there.

"I am what Carly? Crazy? Different? Dressing weirdly? What am I Carly?!"

"Distant. You are distant, Sam. You have barely spoken to me and Freddie for about a month. Do you know we had to cancel iCarly because you were never there?"

"Is that all you care about? ICarly? So let me get this straight, if you have your web show and you get all "famous" again, you would just be just fine?"

"No Sam, I didn't mean it like that"

"Then forget it. I quit"

"What do you mean, you quit?"

"Exactly that. I'm done" I walk away.

…

After school I decided to walk, because I haven't gotten a call from him so I think he would just leave me alone now.

I get to the alley but I don't go through it yet. I am afraid something is going to happen there.

I gather all my courage and I run through the alley. I see the light. Literally. I get to the end of the alley and I get through. As soon as I get through, I get on my knees and scream in victory.

I finally get home and the doors unlocked, maybe my mom is already home. That's weird. But whatever, I am just happy that man is out of my life.

"Mom! Mom! Mom, you home?!" I yell.

Maybe she is just sleeping. I get to my room and I close the door.

Then I get I get thrown on my bed.

"AHHHH!! What are you doing here? Leave me alone! Please!"

He looked at me full of seduction. His eyes filled with intense.

"Come on baby, work with me. You didn't think I would leave you alone, did you? I like you too much" he pinned me down on my bed and he started to unbutton my shirt.

"Stop. Please. I would do whatever you want"

"Don't tell anyone. This will be our little secret"

Tears started to fall off of my face. He didn't care.

"Oh baby, don't cry. We are going to have fun tonight"

I started to cry even more. I can't believe this was happening again.

His hands went down to my pants…


	5. iCan't Tell You

Freddie Pov:

I can't stand not having Sam not talking to me. What did I do wrong? I have to have her talk to me. Having her fight with me is the highlight of my day. It's the most fun I have, and it's not the same without Sam. Forget iCarly. Forget Carly. She has forgotten about Sam. She has new friends and she is doing just fine without Sam. But I'm not. I have to find out what is wrong with her. I need her to talk to her. I need have her in my life again.

I know where her house is. So I walk over there, I go through the alley and I slip and fall on something, I look for what I slipped on and it was a black jacket with pink stripes on it. It looks just like's sums. And come to think of it, I have never seen Sam wearing this jacket again for one or two months. That was when she changed her wardrobe and everything about her. I stand up and keep on walking.

I finally get to her house, and I don't even bother to knock, I just take the emergency key she has under her mat. (She said that she had the emergency key there on iCarly. Helps her sneak inside her house when her mom's asleep)

I get inside and everything is messed up. The couch is flipped over, the TV fell down, everything is on the floor, and the lamp is broken. How did this happen?

I hear muffled crying, I follow the sound and it goes to a bedroom, I see a girl with messy blond hair curled up in a ball she has her face digging in her knees. It's Sam. What happened to her?

"Sam?" she looks up and her eyes widened. She tried to wipe her tears away, but more kept falling down.

She didn't say anything.

"Sam, what's wrong? What happened?" she still didn't say anything. She bit her bottom lip to prevent crying. I can see that she is biting hard because her lip started to turn purple.

"Sam. Sam. It's ok. What happened?" I sat on the bed next to her. She moved away, farther from me.

"Nothing" she said weakly.

"Sam, you can tell me. What's wrong?" I tried to put my hand on her shoulder, but she winced and moved away.

"Nothing happened. Why are you here?"

How do I answer that?

"Because, I miss you being in my life"

She gives me a confused look.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I miss you being there to insult me and push me… and being there for me when something's wrong. You were always there for me. And now it's my turn. I'm going to be there for you"

"What do you mean?" she asks. Now getting worried, which I don't understand.

"Why don't you trust me?"

She looks down at her knees.

"I never said I didn't"

"Then why don't you tell me what is wrong?"

She looks at me in the eyes, her eyes are red and her face is tearing stained. How much was she crying? She looks like she was crying for hours.

"Because…" she whispered

"Why because?"

"Because I can't" she whispered even lower.


	6. iCan Help You, If You Tell Me

"Sam, please tell me what is wrong"

"I can't" she whispered.

"Why can't you tell me?" I asked her.

"Cause I can't, ok?!" she stood up from the bed

"How many times do I have to say, I can't?! I can't tell you! And why are you here anyways!? Why isn't Carly here? Does she even care anymore?" she sat back down and she lowered her voice every time she spoke.

"Nobody cares anymore. Everyone lost hope. I lost hope. Why did this happen to me? Well, I guess its better me than anyone else. I'm worthless." she continued.

Her voice was almost close to whispering. it's a good thing I have good hearing , if I didn't I wouldn't know what she was saying.

What was she talking about?

"Sam" I reached to touch her shoulder and she moved away.

"Don't touch me. Please. I have had enough of a beating. I don't need anymore from you. Please, Freddie I know you don't care. I know your only here because Carly told you. Now, if you don't mind, I would love for you to leave so I can go back to ignoring the world and everyone in it, so please go away."

"Why do are you being like this, Sam? Ok first off, Carly didn't tell me to come here. I came on my own. And second, what are you talking about? I care about you Sam, I would never hurt you"

"You already did" she whispered to herself.

"Sam, please. Tell me what is wrong? I want the old Sam back. I want the witty, feisty, likes to torture people, and likes to bug me. Where is that girl?"

"She's gone! Ok? She's gone! And now that I told you that, can you please go away. Now you know you have nothing to stay here for. That Sam is gone. She vanished. In that stupid alley. And that guy took her. He took that Sam"

Her voice cracked on every word she said.

"Sam, please don't cry. I don't want you to cry. Look, I want to help you. And I would, every step of the way. But first I have to know, what happened?"

"I can't tell you Freddie, I want to but I can't."

"Why?"

"He'll kill me" she whispered.

"Sam please. I don't know what you are talking about, but I can assure you, no one is going to kill you. They will have to go through me to get close to you"

She smiled. That beautiful smile that I waited almost 2 months to see.

"Freddie, your kind of a wimp"

"Then I'll go to the gym. Everyday of the week. I'll sneak out to go and workout. If it means to keep you safe, I will do it."

She looked down, smiled and blushed. I smiled to see that I can do that to her.

Then she stopped smiling and looked at me.

"You promise?"

"I promise, please Sam. Tell me what happened"

She inhaled, closed her eyes for a few seconds, opened them, and look at me.

Her eyes were rimmed red.

What happened to her?

She opened her mouth and closed it.

She extended her arms so it can reach mine and as soon as it was about 2 inches close, she hesitated.

Why was she afraid to touch someone?

Then I moved slowly so I can warn her that I was going to grab her hand. I looked at her and she looked like she didn't mind. I grabbed them and they were soft, but they were clammy. Was she nervous? Why was she nervous?

She looked around for a few seconds, she looked at me, and she opened her mouth again slowly.

"I was… raped"

I was speechless. How can this happen? What? How? Why? What kind of monster would do this to Sam? Who would do this to anyone?

"What? How did this happen?"

"I was walking home from Carly's to get pajamas to sleepover at her house, and I missed the bus, I went through the alley and someone grabbed me, threatened to kill me and I did what I had to do if I wanted to live. Now, I'm not so sure. Then a few minutes before you came, he did. I don't know how he knew where my house was, but he did it to me again. And I'm afraid that maybe he is coming back soon and coming to beat me or kill me or do something to me."

"He is not going to do anything to you Sam. I promise"

"Thanks Freddie"

"But Sam,"

"Yeah?"

"Who is this _he_?"

She inhaled and exhaled, she grabbed my hands and said,

"Nevel"


	7. iWill Stay With You

"what? Nevel did this to you? You never let him near you and he raped you?"

She nodded. Her eyes looked full of shame, disappointment, and embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, Freddie"

"Sam, this is not your fault. And don't ever think that it was your fault. Ok?"

She nodded.

"Freddie?"

"yeah?"

"will you help me?"

"of course. I will start going to the gym tomorrow"

"you were serious about that?" she smiled at me.

"yeah. Of course. I would do anything to protect you, and if it means going to the gym, so be it"

She smiled at me.

"well, I better get going" I said, standing up.

"wait" she grabbed my arm.

"what?"

"please don't leave. I'm afraid he's going to come back"

I stared into her eyes, they were full of fear.

I sighed.

"alright"

She smiled.

I sat back down.

"so what do you want to do?" I asked.

She smiled.

"have you ever heard of, _The office_?"

I smiled. Of course I knew that show.

*3 hours later*

The whole day, we watched _The office_ and I enjoyed every minute of it. Not only because of the show, but because of Sam. I saw her laugh, and smile. And she didn't insult me once. She threw her, "Freddorks" every now and then but now, that comes as a nick name for me.

I looked at my watch.

"oh my god" I said

"what?"

"it's 9:30"

"oh. So, I guess you will be going now, huh?"

I smiled at her.

"no. I'm staying here. With you. Is that ok?"

"yeah. Its ok"

"want to watch some more TV?" I asked

"sure"

*in the morning*

I woke up with Sam next to me. (nothing happened)

We watched TV all night.

I check my watch. 6:30.

I start to shake Sam.

"Sam. Sam, wake up. We are late to school"

"please. Please don't hurt me" she said. With her eyes closed. She is still sleeping. She must think I'm Nevel.

"Sam. Its ok. It's me. Freddie."

She opened her eyes slowly.

"Freddie?"

"yeah?"

She smiled. You threw her arms around me.

"you stayed!"

"of course I did"

"thank you, Freddie"

"your welcome, now lets get to school"

*at school*

We didn't get late, thankfully. But I did miss breakfast.

I don't know what to do about Sam. I mean, I know I said I would go to the gym, and I am. But I don't think that would be enough. I think I know who could help. One of Sam's enemy's who is now one of my best friends.

"hey Jonah!" I called out to him.

He turned around and came towards me.

"what's up freddo?"

"I need some help"

"with what?"

"well, you see, I need to work out"

"why?"

"for a friend. I need to protect her. And I'm asking if you can help me protect her too. And helping me work out."

"of course I'll do it. But Freddie, may I ask something?"

"sure"

"who is all this for? You? Working out? And protecting her?"

My cheeks turned red.

"its for a friend"

He smirked.

"which friend?"

"Sam" I mumbled

"what?"

"Sam" I said louder.

"what Freddie, I can't hear you"

"its Sam!! Alright its Sam!!" I yelled. People started to stare but they looked away quickly.

"all this is for Sam?" he asked

"yeah"

"awww. That's so cute"

"stop it. Your acting like Carly"

"whatever Freddie, so why are you doing this for her, anyways?"

"cause she is my friend"

"oh yeah right"

"she is just a friend, Jonah"

"uh huh. You keep saying that"

"Jonah, its true"

"oh jeez Freddie, why can't you just admit that you love her?"

"maybe cause I don't"

"ugh, whatever, Freddie. Ill get you to admit it. Soon. But anyway, when is the job?"

I smiled

"so you'll do it?"

"yeah I'll do it. When do I start?"

"after school. Today. At the gym"

"all right, see ya later freddo"

"later Jonah"


	8. iAm Going To Help You, I Promise

"No"

"Why not?" I asked her.

"I wont even let my ex boyfriend _look _at me let alone protect me"

"Come on Sam. Please. He is good at weight lifting and stuff. He is one of my best friends now. He's changed. He is a good person."

She sighs.

"Fine. But what if he comes in and asks why he is protecting me?"

"No. I don't think he would-"

"Hey Freddie, just to ask. Why are we protecting Sam anyways?"

Sam gave me and I-told-you look.

"I think we should let Sam answer that one. If she wants to"

Me and Jonah both looked at Sam.

Sam sighed and walked a few steps forward.

Her eyes got filled with tears. She closed her eyes and she whispered, "I was raped"

"And we need to protect her because he said that if she tells anyone, he will kill her" I told him

A single tear fell from Sam's face.

Jonah's eyes widened and he put his hand over his mouth in shock.

He removed his hand.

"Who did this to you?"

She opened her mouth but she couldn't say anything. No words came out. Nothing.

I put my hand over her shoulder.

"Its fine, Sam. You don't have to tell him yet."

She nodded.

"Thank you"

I smiled at her.

"You're welcome"

We both stared at each other for a while until Jonah cleared his throat.

We immediately looked at him then looked down and blushed in embarrassment.

Sam looked up and looked at both me and Jonah.

"So you guys are really going to protect me?" she asked hopefully.

I looked at her seriously and said,

"Yes. I promise nothing is going to happen to you. At all."


	9. iBeg You To Stop

I'm such in an updating mood right now. :D

* * *

"Ok so I'll see you later ok?" Sam asked me.

"Definitely" I gave her one last smile and left through the door. (is there any other way? I can't fly)

Jonah smirked at me.

"What?" I asked him.

"Don't you "what" me. You love her"

"What? No. I don't love her"

"You love her you love her" he started singing and dancing around.

"Jonah stop"

"Sam and Freddie sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G"

"Ok, now your just being childish"

"If you think its so childish, then I guess you wont mind if I do this"

"Wait what? What are you going to do?"

"Hello world? I have big news!! Freddie Benson loves s- ahh!"

I tackled him to the floor before he finished his sentence.

"Geez Freddie, if you wanted me to stop, all you had to do was ask"

"Ugh. Whatever" I stood up and gave him a hand.

"Thank you for not killing me"

I gave him an you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me look.

"Whatever, lets just go to the gym"

"Ooh someone's in a rush to protect some girl he loves"

"Jonah" I scowled at him.

"Fine fine. Ill stop. You love her" he whispered.

I'll ignore that one. Because, I think it might be true.

* * *

I'm still in an updating mood, so I think I'm going to update another chapter.


	10. iWant to Do Bad Things To You

I'm updating alot, i'm happy! :D

* * *

We got out of the gym and decided to take the long way to Sam's house. Since the short way is through the alley. On our way there, I saw some fancy hotel. We decided to go in so I can get sam a gift, like a teddy bear or something. Whatever it takes to make her feel better.

"Man Freddie, I'm impressed, shocked, and surprised. I can't believe that you were strong. I was shocked! I couldn't believe it! How did you learn that?"

"My mom is really over protective and I had to see Sam, but she believes that Sam is a demon and what-not, so I snuck out the window to see her. I climbed down a rope, so I guess I get strength from that"

Jonah jaw dropped to the floor.

"What?" I asked him.

"You did all that for Sam?"

"Umm yeah. Pretty much"

"And you _still _say you don't love her?"

I was speechless. Jonah did make sense. Why would I do all of that for someone that I hate? Or that I didn't hate? Or that I- Ugh!! I'm so confused! Stupid Freddie! Stupid stupid stupid! Oh man, I can't believe I'm beating myself up mentally. I'm AM going crazy.

I opened my mouth, closed it, and opened it again.

"Well… you see Jonah.. When a friend feels bad, a good friend would help out that-"

"Oh my god! Its Nevel Papperman!" a lady screamed.

Suddenly a big group of people formed around him.

Every bone in my body wanted to beat him up.

"Ignore them" Jonah said.

I stared at Nevel with death eyes.

"uh Freddie? Are you ok? Hey fred- wait! Where are you going?"

I ran through the big group and charged at nevel. I threw him to the floor and threw him as many punches as I could.

"How can you do that to her you heartless beast?!"

More and more punches came. I was surprised that I could do all of this and not be tired. I guess that is what the adrenaline would do to you. Speaking of which, where did this adrenaline come from?

I punched him in the nose and he started to bleed.

Suddenly, someone picked me up.

"Hey son, you can't do that here"

Man, he was a big dude.

"I'm sorry sir. I'll just be on my way" I said brushing myself off and heading towards Jonah, Who has his jaw even lower to the floor.

"What. Was. That?"

"Lets just go"

He nodded and we walked towards the door.

"Wait!" we turned around and nevel was there, waiting. I wanted to punch him again. But I couldn't. the security guard was still there.

Nevel walk towards us.

"Can we talk? In private?" he asked.

"Fine. But Jonah has to come"

"Yeah, I have to come" Jonah said.

"Ugh fine. Lets just go"

We walked into a closet. Seriously? A closet? This dude owns one of the most visited websites in the history of websites and he leads us into a closet?

"Ok lets just cut to the chase, why did you do that Sam?" I asked completely in demand. Now I see why Sam likes talking like that. I feel empowered.

"Now, why you just assume it was me?" Nevel asked smirking.

"Wait, it was Nevel that did all of that? He is just a kid!"

"I'm not just a kid!"

"Well, you're the _kid_ that… that.."

Oh god. I can't even say it. every time I try to say it, it sounds more and more real

"That what?" Nevel asked, clearly amused.

"That raped Sam!"

"Gasp! I would never do that. How you accuse me of such a disgusting, dirty, evil thing? Wait, it sounds more like me every minute" he said.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"Because, you have a little web show called iCarly. And lets face it, without Sam, the show would be nothing. And I was wandering in my room wondering how I could be the most visited web site once again. I gave it a rest, I watched a movie about sexual abuse and I came to an idea, _rape_. And I knew how much pain and devastation people go through when that happens, so it was a perfect plan. So, when I did it to her the first time in the alley, I actually enjoyed myself. Her screaming and crying was just a plus. Then, I missed watching her scream and beg to stop and cry in an un-Sam way, so I figured out where she lived and went to her again. And again, I enjoyed myself. Even more than the last time. And then my plan worked. Sam went off her nut and she isolated herself from the world. And the web show was canceled. I mean, come on, lets face it, no Sam, no web show, right?"

I wanted to break his nose. I wanted to pulverize this dude to the ground. I wanted to do so many bad things to him.

"Well, since I guess she told you, then that means that I do have to kill her. So I guess I will be going now"

Nevel opened the door then looked at me.

"Oh and Freddie? Be sure to admit your love to her before she is in a grave"

He walked out.

Everything was silent.

Jonah looked at me.

"Told ya, you love her" He said smiling but the worry was still in his eyes.

And i'm pretty sure the worry was is in my eyes too.


	11. iWon't Let You Hurt Me Anymore

Enjoy! It actually took me hours to make this chapter, so I hope you guys enjoy! Please review. That is my motivation.

* * *

We get to Sam's house. Jonah opens the door. Somehow it was already unlocked. Weird.

We go in and the whole house is messed up. The couches are on the floor, the lamp is broken, the whole is house is pretty much upside down. What happened here?

"Oh my god…" Jonah said.

Realization just hit me-

"Where's Sam?" I asked, with my voice filled with worry. He noticed.

Jonah looked at me and we ran to her room.

Oh no. no no no no no no. no this _can't _be happening.

"Jonah?"

He was speechless too.

My eyes were watering up. I'm pretty sure his was too.

"Yeah?" he said weakly and faintly.

"Where is Sam?"

****

Sam's Pov:

I woke up strapped to a chair.

What am I doing here?

Why am I strapped to a chair?

Why do I keep asking questions to myself?

Ok, ok. Stop. Calm down Sam. Your Sam Puckett. You don't get scared. Nope. No you don't.

Be strong, Sam. Please be strong.

"Ah. Welcome Sam. I see you keep attracting me. Well, I am very devilishly good looking. I guess I cant blame you"

"Yeah you're a devil all right"

"So Sam, what are you doing here?" Nevel asked. I knew it was a rhetorical question. But I decided to answer it anyways.

"Oh I don't know, I was just in the neighborhood and I said to myself _hey why don't I go see my rapist Nevel?_ and here I am. Why do you think nimrod?! You strapped me to a chair!! Let me out of here now!!"

He took a few steps forward. His eyes looked like he had the devil inside of them. Ok, now I'm kinda getting scared. But I'm good. I can handle this. I think.

"I'm not afraid of you, Sam. Well, not anymore. I mean, come on, after all those times we spent together?"

I didn't say anything for a while.

"What do you want with me?" I asked.

He chuckled.

"Oh Sam. Silly little Sam. You want to know why I sent you here?"

"Uh yeah. I asked didn't I?" I tried sounding like my old Sam self, but really, I was terrified out of my mind.

"Well Sam, from my sources, I heard that you told someone what I did, actually no, you told 2 people what I did. I told you that if you told anyone, anyone at all, then I would kill you and Sam, I always keep my promises"

If I was terrified before then now, I just took a dump in my pants. No, no Sam. don't show that you are afraid. You are better than this….

No I'm not.

If I was, then I would have beat him up before he tried doing this to me, if I was, then I wouldn't have turned my back on my friends, and I would have told the guy I liked that I liked him instead of treating him like dirt.

I'm not better, I'm not good. I don't belong in this world. I don't deserve to be in this world. I am probably going to die.

By him. By Nevel.

"Fine" I said.

"Fine?" he was confused.

"Yeah. If you want to kill me, then do it"

"Um, ok then. Let me just get my killing tools"

He walked out of the room.

So here I am, strapped to a chair, about to die.

But I don't even care anymore, if I die, I would do the world a favor, Carly wouldn't be worried about me, Gibby would have more pants (no more Texas wedgies) and Freddie… Freddie wouldn't have a bully anymore.

They all have nothing to lose, except for a bully.

What do I have to live for right?

Well I guess, I do have something to live for, I have to live for Carly, I know she still cares about for me, I have to live for iCarly, and I have to live for Freddie, I know he probably doesn't need me, (who needs a bully, right?) but… I need him. He has helped me so much, he actually made me feel like I was a somebody, like I belonged in this world, when in the past few months, I felt like I didn't.

If I leave, I will never get the chance to tell him how I feel about him. I have to tell him. And if I am going to tell him, then that means that I have to get out of here, beat the snot out of Nevel, and get out of here alive.

And I intent to do that.

The ropes were tied on my hands. I tried to untie myself and I did. He makes a good website but he is a sickish rope tier.

I don't move and I put my hands behind my back so it still looks like I am still tied.

"Ok, here we go. Any last words, Sam Puckett?" Nevel said.

"Actually I do" I said.

He seemed curious.

"And what are they?"

I smirked at him.

"Gotcha"

I kick his hand and he dropped his knife. I got up and punched him in the nose and he started to bleed. I took the knife and I threw it out the window. I kicked him in the place guys do not want to be kicked and he fell on the floor. I picked him up and slammed him on the wall,

"Let me tell you something, kid. Nobody. Messes. With. Sam. Puckett." I said, my voice dripping with venom in every word.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my side.

I dropped Nevel and I held my side.

He started to laugh and he held up his knife. It wasn't as big as the other one, but it was big enough to make blood fall as if it was raining.

"Your done Sam Puckett. Your going to die here. Alone. With no one to be here with you"

I held my side and the blood starting dripping through my fingers, I let my side go and I punched Nevel as hard as I could. Harder than I punched anyone ever before.

He fell down on the ground. Unconscious.

I held my side, and I winced in pain. I almost lost my balance and fell on the floor but I managed to walk out of this dreaded house. Its completely empty. It looks like an abandoned house. All the walls were gray, it almost looks like a jail cell.

I got out of the house and started walking, I didn't know where I was going as long as it was away from here.

I got dizzier and dizzier. I could barely walk now. I got clumsy. And I started to trip over rocks.

I stopped walking and just stood there. My eyes started to close.

I knew I was about to fall. I still held my side. More and more blood was dripping. I started to get woozy just by looking at my blood.

I fell back and arms caught me.

I close my eyes but I hear distant voices and police sirens.

But the one voice I hear the most is the one saying, "Sam, stay with me. Please"

But I couldn't respond. My eyes were closed and the voices and sirens slowly faded away.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!!


	12. iWon't Wake Up

I updated! Yay! I'm happy. :D

Ok, _these kind of letters are flashbacks or memories or whatever you like to call them_.

Ok, on with the show!

I opened my eyes to a white room, with tubes and bruises all over me. What happened to me? Where am I?

I try to sit up but I couldn't. I can't move. I can't do anything.

"Sam?" Freddie? What's he doing here? What's going on?

I hear him slightly sobbing, is he crying? Why was he crying? Did a relative die?

"Sam, If you can hear me, please wake up. Please Sam, everyone is starting to lose hope. You haven't woken up in 12 days"

What? I haven't woken up to 12 days? Why haven't I woken up?

Oh man, I'm in a hospital.

"I miss the Sam that treated me like a human punching bag… I miss the Sam I hung out with for the past few weeks... I miss you Sam. Please wake up. Please Sam, I haven't lost hope but please give me a sign that you are still here"

I feel a drop of water fall on my cheek, is he crying?

Freddie reaches and takes my hand.

"Sam please, give me a sign"

I would if I could Freddie.

I try to move my fingers. Nothing.

_Come on, Sam. Move your fingers. Show him you are still here. Try._

I try to move my fingers again. I use everything that I got to move my fingers… I can't.

Freddie sighs of disappointment.

"Sam, I know your still here. I just can't prove it yet"

"Freddie, come on, you can't stay here all night. You have to come home" Mrs. Benson?

Freddie lets go of my hand.

"I'll be there in a minute, mom"

"Ok sweetie, I'll wait at the parking lot" I hear footsteps, which probably meant that she left.

"You will wake up, Sam. And when you do, I'll be here"

I feel lips on my cheek.

Did Freddie just kiss me?

Freddie's Pov:

I hate Nevel. So much. I hate him more than anything.

I want to beat the snot out of this kid. I want him to pay for what he did to Sam.

_The doctors finally came in._

_Spencer almost ran up to the doctors but he walked instead._

"_How is she doctor?"_

_I saw the doctors eyes. Sadness, disappointment, and grief. What does this mean?_

"_I'm sorry…" oh my god, why do they always have to start with that sentence?_

"_Sam… she lost a lot of blood and she didn't get enough blood to the brain. She has had several head injuries, but it seems that it has happened a few months ago" _

_Oh my god, Sam got injured on her head when she got raped. And she never even noticed. She was caught up with everything else that she forgot about her health. I did too. That's what disappoints me the most. I should have sent her to the doctors or to the police, not do this "master body build-up" thing._

"_She has several bruises and a cut on her side. And… when she had the head injury, she didn't get enough blood in the brain, so…"_

_Oh no._

"_Sam is in a coma. And she may never wake up" _

And that is the end for this chapter.

I'm sorry this chapter wasn't so long, I will make it longer next time.

Please review.

That's my motivation, and what keeps me going.


	13. iThink I Remember Now

Hope you enjoy it! and please review!

* * *

Pov:

What is wrong with me? Why can't I say anything? Or move or even wiggle my finger?

I have been in here for 29 days so far, and Freddie has been coming in every day. That made me happy, but it also made me feel guilty, I have made fun, mocked, and hurt Freddie in every way possible, and he stills comes here. Heck, he comes here more than my mother and Carly combined.

I haven't spoken to Carly in months. She has gone off with Wendy. But she has come visiting, and apologized for ignoring me and not talking to me. that's how I figured out she wasn't talking to me in months.

I forgive her.

I hope I may redeem my friendship with her when I wake up… well, _if_ I wake up.

Every time Freddie comes here, he always says something like, "I want to get back at the person who did this to you" or something like that. I don't know who he talks about.

I don't remember anything.

I don't even know how I got here.

And I don't even know if I want to know.

"Hey. It's me again" Freddie. Finally. Every time he comes here, it lightens my day.

"Sam please, you have to wake up. I know I have said this before but you really do. The doctors said that if you don't wake up in 2 weeks, they will pull the plug"

What? No. no. they can't pull the plug on me. People have stay like this for years and they only wait for a few more weeks for me? Why are they doing this?

He grabbed my hand again.

"Sam, you have to wake up, I can't stand to lose you. I can't. if you leave… I don't know what I would do. You can't leave me here. I don't want to be in this world without you. I can't be in this world without you"

I can't believe he said that. What does he mean by that?

I try my hardest to move something. Anything at all.

And I, finally, moved my fingers slightly.

And I can tell, even though I can't see him, that he is smiling.

"Thank you Sam, for finally giving me a sign" I could hear a smile in his voice. Which would made me smile but I can't.

Then, I felt the bed move and he kissed my forehead.

For some reason, whenever his lips touch me, I feel happy, (call me crazy, I know) and when he separates, I feel disappointment, but he leaves me tingly and shaky inside.

How can this guy do this to me?

***

2 weeks passed, it felt like a ticking clock because in about a few hours, the doctors will pull the plug on me.

It's official, I am going to die.

Freddie still has been coming and that made me happy.

Carly came by twice and she has apologized again and again and again. It didn't annoy me at all because me made me feel like I still had my best friend.

That made me feel good.

I'm glad she is talking to me again.

"Hey Sam. Its- well I think you know who it is" Freddie chuckled but there is still sadness in his voice.

"Sam, I don't know how to say this, but if you left, I would never be able to say the 3 words I have been waiting to say to you in a long time"

What three words?

I hate you?

I can't stand you? Oh wait, that's four words.

"Ok, I'll just come out and say it, Sam I-"

"Son, we are here to… pull the plug"

It was the doctor. I'm about to die.

"What? No"

"I'm sorry son, but we have to. They are orders"

"Your kidding, right?"

"I wish I was. I'm sorry, son"

Freddie didn't say anything for a while.

"Can I just have a few minutes with Sam?"

"Sure kid. You have five minutes" he walked out of the room.

Freddie sat down on my bed.

"Ok Sam, this is probably going to be my last moments with you so I'm just going to tell you, right here, right now, that I lo-"

"Hello Freddie. I see Sam has been affected by my little gift"

Freddie got off my bed so fast, I thought he saw a ghost or something.

"What are you doing here? You are not welcome here" Freddie said, venom dripping on every word.

"Oh come on, you didn't think that I would miss this moment. The moment that they are going to, oh what's the word? Oh I know _kill_ Sam. I don't want to miss this wonderful moment"

Who is this guy?

Who is Freddie talking to?

"You better leave now before I do something I will not regret. You have no idea how much I want to hurt you right now"

What is going on? Why does Freddie want to hurt this guy? I mean, yeah he does sound like a skunk bag, but what happened between those two?

"Oh I don't think you will. There are doctors and security guards everywhere. I don't think you will be able to hurt me without getting into trouble"

I have no idea what is going on.

"I don't care. You will pay for what you did to Sam"

Did to me? What in the Jesus is going on?

What did he do to me? Who is this guy?

"Ok Freddie, Nevel, you guys have to leave this room"

Nevel? Why does that sound familiar?

Wait-

Nevel!

He raped me twice, Freddie helped me, so did Jonah, Nevel kidnapped me, I kicked his butt, he stuck a knife in me, I knocked him out, I ran out… well walked out, I passed out and Freddie caught me.

Nevel stuck a knife in me, he raped me. He caused me so much pain and it hurt.

It hurt so much.

I didn't have anyone to turn to and Freddie showed up, out of the blue.

I just wish I can say those words to him. I wish I can just say-

I felt my heart pound and I let out the biggest scream I have ever done in my life.

Freddie's Pov:

Oh man, how am I going to say this. I know she is asleep, but this may be my last moment with her.

"Ok Sam, this is probably going to be my last moments with you so I'm just going to tell you, right here, right now, that I lo-"

"Hello Freddie. I see Sam has been affected by my little gift"

No. He better be a ghost. He better not be here.

"What are you doing here? You are not welcome here" I said.

"Oh come on, you didn't think that I would miss this moment. The moment that they are going to, oh what's the word? Oh I know _kill_ Sam. I don't want to miss this wonderful moment"

I want to kill him.

"You better leave now before I do something I will not regret. You have no idea how much I want to hurt you right now"

"Oh I don't think you will. There are doctors and security guards everywhere. I don't think you will be able to hurt me without getting into trouble"

I have no idea what is going on.

That is true. But I want to make him regret everything he has done.

"I don't care. You will pay for what you did to Sam"

"Ok Freddie, Nevel, you guys have to leave this room"

I nodded. Feeling horrible. I was never able to say what I wanted to say to Sam.

I looked over at Nevel and he grinning demonically.

He made me sick.

I started to walk out of the room.

Then I heard a loud scream coming from Sam's bed**.**

* * *

And that is the end of the chapter. Please review. :D


	14. iCall The Cops

Previously:

"_Ok Freddie, Nevel, you guys have to leave this room"_

_I nodded. Feeling horrible. I was never able to say what I wanted to say to Sam._

_I looked over at Nevel and he grinning demonically._

_He made me sick. _

_I started to walk out of the room._

_Then I heard a loud scream coming from Sam's bed._

On with the story:

Freddie's Pov:

More screams came and came.

Was that Sam?

Sam is screaming.

That means she is awake!!

"Help her!!" I screamed.

"No! Don't do anything!!" Nevel screamed.

I turned to him and punched him on the nose with all the anger I had.

The doctors didn't even noticed, they were focused on Sam.

Nevel fell on the floor. I bent down to him.

"You better leave before I do what I wanted to do to you for months. And trust me, it will feel good for me, for you, not so much"

He looked at me angrily, got up and left the room.

I smiled and then my smile faded. Sam!

I turned to the doctors.

"Is she ok? What's going on? Why isn't anyone telling me anything?" I kept on blabbering.

"Son, you have to wait outside. Something has happened to her. This rarely happens. You have to go."

I knew that I shouldn't start fighting with the doctor.

So I just nodded and walked out.

I heard faint screams coming from Sam's room.

I picked up my phone and called Carly.

"_hello?"_

She was crying. I can hear it. She was slightly sobbing.

"Carly. You have to come over"

"_Did they pull the plug already?" _she started to sob even more.

"No. I actually think she woke up. She started to scream. I don't know why. You have to come-"

"_I'm on my way"_ she said, interrupting me.

"Oh and Carly?"

"_Yeah?"_

"Bring a cop"

"_Why?"_

"Just do it"

"_umm. Ok"_

"Bye"

"_Bye"_

And we hung up.

I sat down thinking only about Sam.

***

It has been 2 hours and Carly still isn't here.

"Freddie!" wow. Prefect timing.

"Carly, have you brought a cop?"

"Not really. I brought a close friend from the military. Freddie, you remember uncle roger, right?"

"Uh yeah. What are you doing here?

"Well I was in the neighborhood and Carly called me saying that you need a cop right away and I figured that it was an emergency so I came here as fast as I could" roger said.

"So why did you need a cop, Freddie?" Carly asked.

I took a deep breath

"Nevel raped Sam. Twice"

Carly gasped and her eyes started to tear. She put her hand over her mouth, closed her eyes, and a tear fell.

She opened her eyes.

She inhaled.

"But… that doesn't explain why she is here"

"Well, Nevel kidnapped Sam and Sam started to fight him, she was about to leave, but Nevel knifed Sam. When she went to the hospital, the doctors said that she had a head injury and didn't get enough blood to the brain. Sam got the head injury from Nevel. She just never noticed. And neither did I. We were both caught up in getting Nevel"

"Oh my god" Carly said. Her eyes were starting to get red.

"So, what do I have to do?" roger asked.

"Ok, well, Nevel is probably in the cafeteria right now. Can you arrest him?" I asked

"I'm on it" roger said and he left the waiting room.

"How do you know all of this?" Carly asked.

"I went to her house and I started talking to her. I didn't abandon her. I didn't go and leave her in the dark while I make new friends, why did you do that anyway? Sam is your friend and you just trade her for dirt"

"I know. And I am really sorry. I wish I could just take it back. I miss Sam. So much"

"I know you do"

The doctor came,

"Freddie Benson?"

I stood up from the chair.

"Yeah? What happened? Is she ok? I got to stop rambling"

The doctor smiled. Which only meant good things.

"She is fine. She is awake." I couldn't stop smiling at this point.

"And she is asking for you" the doctor said.

My heart started to pound. Like a bongo.

"Ok" I squeaked. It was literally a squeak.

"Come this way"

I nodded. I looked back at Carly.

She smiled and nodded.

I took a deep breath and I headed towards Sam room.

Getting ready to say the 3 words I have been waiting to say for 4 weeks.


	15. iAm Going To See Her

**I'm sorry it's so short!!! School started so I wasn't able to update. But don't worry, I'll make Time! ^-^**

* * *

Freddie's Pov:

"So why did sam ask for me?" I asked, while the doctor was taking me to sam's room.

"She didn't." the doctor said.

"What? Then why do you-"

"Sam was screaming your name when she was waking up. There might have been a reason why she was screaming your name. And my common sense told me to get you to her"

She was screaming my name? I can't believe it.

"She was screaming my name?"

"Yes. She was"

We finally reached to Sam's room.

"Ok, well, she is still sleeping from the anesthesia, but you can stay here until she wakes up"

"Thanks, Doc"

"Go get her, Tiger"

* * *

**Please review!!! Oh, and I will probably update by saturday, so keep your eyes open. hehe. :D**


	16. iCAN'T Believe This

**Hey guys, you are NOT going to believe this!!!**

**Someone was so nice enough to make a trailer of my fan fiction, "iWant To Help You".**

**It's on YouTube.**

**Just go to YouTube and search for:**

**iWant To Help You Tralier- Seddie**

**Watch it, comment and rate.**

**That person deserves it.**

**Bye!!**

**P.s.**

**New chapter of "iHave Secrets" coming soon! **


	17. iAM SO HAPPY!

Yo yo!

Hey guys, I was on YouTube about a few seconds ago, and I just realized that the person that did the trailer for my story, has made another one!!! (How do I know this, you ask? I subscribed hehe.)

Anyways, I checked it out and it was even BETTER than the other one!!!

I am so thankful for this person to do this!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

I am so unbelievably happy!!!

So please, guys watch the video, comment, fave it, and rate it.

That person sincerely deserves this.

Bye!!!

P.s

New chapter coming this weekend, probably. Sorry I haven't updated much, school is crazy.


	18. iTalk With Carly

3 hours passed…

Sam hasn't woken up yet.

Every time I look at her, she looks like she is restraining. Like she is in pain, but after a few minutes, she would calm down.

I have been staring at her for the entire time I have been here in this room.

The doctors have come and gone to give Sam her medicine.

It caused me pain when I have to look at her with all those needles in her.

I'm pretty sure if Sam was awake and anyone tried to put a needle in her, even a doctor, she would throw the needle out the window, and beat them up.

I need Sam back.

"Hey. How is she?"

Carly. It was kind of weird talking to her again.

We haven't spoken for months.

Ever since Sam got raped, Carly tried to help her, and after a week or two, she gave up. She made new friends and she abandoned sam.

Carly said that she regretted that and when she was going to apologize, it was too late. Sam got hurt and got in a coma.

Carly has been coming here, at least once a week.

I came here everyday.

"She's ok. She is a very good listener"

I said, with no emotion in my voice.

She laughed awkwardly at that.

Ever since Sam got into her coma, I felt… dead.

Like nothing in the world matters, until I see her again.

I need to see her.

I need to be alive again.

"Hey, you ok? Why are you staring at nothing" carly asked.

"Sorry. Just… deep in thought"

She knew what I meant.

She sat down in the chair next to me.

"She is going to be ok, Freddie. She is going to wake up. She is not a coma anymore. She is asleep from the anesthesia, but she will wake up."

"I know, I just…I don't know. I still feel worried"

"About what?" she seemed confused now. I might as well tell her.

"That she won't feel the same way…" I said quietly.

She didn't know what I meant at first. But after a few seconds, she caught up. Her eyes widened.

Then she smiled.

"She does. You have nothing to worry about. I always knew you two would get together. It was just a matter of time. I'm just… sad that it happen this way"

And now it was my turn to be confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that… ok, I knew that you two would get together. I just hoped that it wouldn't require sam getting… raped for you to figure out your feeling for each other"

She had trouble saying the word "rape".

I hated Nevel.

I hated that idiotic monster for hurting Sam like he did.

"Me too, Carly. Me too…"

"I hate him..." I mumbled.

Carly heard what i said and she understood.

"Me too, Freddie. But don't do anything you will regret"

"I won't regret it"

"Freddie... Nevel is going to Juvie. Sam is alive and well, that is all that matters"

"I want to hurt him so badly. I want to make him pay for what he did to her."

"I know you do"

"I wish I was there. To stop this whole disaster from happening"

"Me too. But Freddie... We can't change the past. No matter how much we want to. It just _is"_

She is right, I hate it when she's right.

As much as I want to _kill_ Nevel for what he did to Sam... I won't.

She is with me now, and she is alive and, Carly's right. That is all that matters.

I do wish I could change the past to stop this whole thing from happening but... I can't.

But if I did, who knows, maybe Sam and I wouldn't as be as close as we are now.

My life would never be the same.

I want her in my life.

"But she is ok now, right"

"Yeah" I smiled at her knowing that everything will be all right.

Or at least hoping.

"So…" carly got off of her chair and dusted herself off.

"I got to go. Spencer is making a giant _Get well soon _card for Sam and I told him that I would help. I'll see you later. When Sam wakes up, call me right away, ok?"

I smiled at her.

"Sure. Ok. Have fun with the card"

"Bye Freddie"

She left the room.

And I was left with Sam and my thoughts.

I really have to talk with Sam. I miss talking to her, heck, I miss getting beat up by her. If she had to beat me up so she could wake up, I would let her.

I miss her.

I want her in my life again.

No, I _need_ her.

I never thought I would say this but...

I'm in love with her.

"Freddie?"

I looked over and see the girl with the messy- but beautiful- blond hair that I have been waiting to talk to for months.

I have waited a long time for this moment.

And there she is, right now, looking at me.

I smiled.

The first real smile I have done in months.

"Sam…"

**The end for this chapter. Please review!! :D**


	19. iWont Let You Go, Ever

_Yo Yo! It's SeddieFan giving you the next chapter!_

_**I'm excited today! "Why am I excited?" you ask. Well because I have been **_

_**nominated for 1st iCarly Awards Nominations!**_

_**I'm under the category of "Best overall fan fiction" and "Best seddie story"**_

_**When I heard about this, I was truly, truly honored.**_

_**I can't explain how honored I am.**_

_**I am in the nominations of the iCarly Awards along with some other AMAZING **_

_**stories.**_

_**Such as, iWon't Be Seventeen Forever (One of my personal favorites), A Hidden **_

_**Secret (I have read every chapter), iWill Be There For You (I keep on waiting for **_

_**updates. I love this story) and Meet The Bensons (The person who wrote this story is **_

_**truly talented in writing).**_

_**Compared to all of those stories, I am probably not going to win by how amazingly **_

_**awesome these stories are.**_

_**But, I don't care if I win or not.**_

_**It's an honor to be nominated, I know everyone says that, but I honestly mean it.**_

_**I never expected like this to happen, EVER.**_

_**I'm am truly truly TRULY honored. I know I have said that like a million times, **_

_**but… I have no words to explain.**_

_**Ok, On with the chapter!**_

_**By the way, sorry about the repeated chapter, that was a mistake. My bad. ^-^**_

Freddie' Pov:

She's awake.

She's really awake.

I can't believe this.

Am I in a dream?

I hope not…

I get to her bed and give her a hug.

The hug I have been waiting weeks, maybe months, to do.

She hugs back. That made me even happier.

"I have been waiting for this moment for a long time. I have practiced what I was going to

say, but now…. I'm speechless" I whispered in her ear.

I let go.

She gave me a genuine smile.

Such a beautiful smile.

"I thought I lost you" I said sadly.

"I never left" she smiled.

I never get tired of that smile. Who would?

"I never stopped thinking about you, Sam. I came here every day. Carly apologized about

abandoning you; she comes here twice a week. So many things have happened. ok, for

one thing, Ms. Briggs quit as being a teacher. She said she wanted to work in boot camp

slash Scottish class or something and another thing-"

"Freddie..."

"Yeah?"

"What… what were you going to say?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… when I was… asleep, I… heard things"

Ok, she was getting me confused.

"What kind of things?"

"You. Carly. Spencer. Everybody who came here, I heard what they said"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Ok but what does this have to do with that question you were asking?"

"Well…. Before they were going to pull the plug on me… you said something like, 'oh

I'm just going to say it, Sam I' and then you got interrupted. Several times. So… what

were you going to say?"

My face was getting hot. I'm pretty sure I was turning pink.

Heck, I might be turning red.

I might be the human cherry.

"Uhh…"

"Freddie, what were going to say?" Sam said. Looking clearly amused by the whole thing.

Apparently she liked me looking like a tomato.

"Sam… I don't know how to say it"

"What? What did you want to say?"

"I wanted to say… that…" Why am I so nervous?

"What?" She smiled of curiosity.

That smile gave me a sudden burst of confidence.

I leaned in and I was breathless when her lips touched mine.

She responded and deepened the kiss.

This is better than the one for our first kiss.

This is better than any kiss anyone could ever experience.

I know it's better than any other kiss that I experienced.

We pulled apart, both breathless.

"Sam… I love you"

She widened her eyes then she smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes" I grabbed her hand gently.

"More than anything. If you left me… I don't know what I would have

done. I love you more than I have to breath air. I never want to lose you, in any way. I

love you, Sam"

She bit her lip and smiled.

"I never thought this would happen. But, I'm glad it did. I love you too, Freddie"

I smiled. Whenever I'm around her, I smile.

I was so breathless from that kiss, that I didn't grasp what she said_._

_She _loves _me._

_She _loves _me_.

I leaned in and kissed her again.

Every kiss we have gets better and better.

I pulled apart and said,

"That should have been our first kiss"

Sam smiled.

"Yeah, but it definitely won't be our last"

She gave me the most brightening smile she has ever given me.

I leaned in again.

I'm never going to let Sam go.

**End of this chapter! Please review and i'll give you a cookie via e-mail. Ok, maybe **

**not, but wouldn't it be cool if i could?**


	20. iPromise

Sam's Pov:

"Sam?" The doctor. Oh god, what could he possibly want now?

"Yeah?"

"Sam, you are free to go" my eyes widen and I smile.

"Really?"

"Yes, you may leave whenever you are ready"

"Thank you!" I get off my bed and hug the doctor.

I'm free!

I'm finally free!

* * *

After about an hour, I head outside to the waiting room and everyone is waiting for me. Carly, Spencer, Jonah, Mrs. Benson, and Freddie.

Freddie is holding balloons that say, "Get well soon" and a teddy bear.

I run up to him and give him a big hug, he drops the balloons and teddy bear while he hugs back.

"Welcome back, Sam" he whispers in my ear.

"Good to be back, Freddork"

He breaks free and we both have a smile on our faces.

"Aww. Finally!" Jonah said.

I go up to Carly; she has tears in her eyes.

I hug her and she hugs back while she sobs.

"I thought I would never see you again, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything" she says while crying.

"It's ok. I'm here no. I missed you"

We let go of each other and she smiles.

"I'm glad to have you back" She says.

I'm so glad I still have my best friend with me.

We spent some time in the waiting room and I hugged everyone. And yes, I do mean everyone. That includes, Jonah and Mrs. Benson.

When we were about to leave a police officer comes up to us.

"Sam Puckett?" the officer asks

"Yeah. That's me"

"Sam Puckett, we have heard that you have been raped by a certain Nevel Papperman, is that correct?"

What a way with words, doc.

I was just starting to forget about it.

I feel my eyes tearing up, and my voice starts to crack.

"Yes that is correct" I said, blinking rapidly so the tears don't fall.

"Well, we have just arrested him and he will no longer bother you or anyone else. Is that ok?"

"Is that ok? Of course it's ok! Thank you thank you!" I went up and hugged him.

I was in a hugging mood today.

When I stepped away, I realized that I had tears in my eyes.

Everyone noticed.

"Whoa…" I said wiping my eyes. "Gotta love allergies, huh?" I continued.

Nobody bought it.

"Sam-" Carly started.

"Carly, please. I want to have a good day today. I don't want to think of the past few days. I only want to think of the good, ok?"

Carly smiled.

"Sure"

We walked outside.

It was sunny for a change. I loved it. It seems like God does care about me, he gave me a little light in my life. Thank you God.

"Want to go the groovy smoothies?" Carly asked

"Uhh, you guys go ahead, I want to go somewhere"

"Oh ok, I'll see at my house?" Carly asked. Her eyes full of hope. She must be afraid I will say no.

I would say no if it was a few months ago.

Not anymore.

I smiled.

"Of course"

She smiled and hugged me.

"I missed you" she repeated. I feel my eyes tearing up again.

I had to step away, turn around and make sure nobody saw me.

"Yeah, I'll see you later" I walked away rapidly.

Freddie's Pov:

Was Sam crying?

I could have sworn that I saw tears in her eyes when she was hugging Carly.

"Freddie? You coming?" Carly asked.

"Uhh, I'll see you later. I have some things I have to take care of"

Carly looked confused at first but then she looked behind me, and she knew what I was going to do.

She smiled.

"Go get her"

I smiled and started to run after Sam.

Sam Pov:

I went to the park. I just felt like I should come here.

It was beautiful, the birds chirping, no clouds in the blue sky, and the sunset beaming right in front of me.

I went on the swings and just sat there.

Thinking, I'm alive, God must love me if he left me alive, I could have died, Nevel is arrested, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.

My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"I had a feeling you would be here. You used to always come here when you were upset. The sunset is beautiful today"

Freddie.

He remembered that I used to come here?

"Freddie, I am feeling a lot of things I have never felt before. I felt depression, anger and hate. But I never thought that I would be feeling like this" I said.

Freddie looked confused.

"What are you feeling?"

I looked at him and smiled.

"Love"

He smiled, leaned towards me and kissed me.

We separated and I said, "You know, I could get used to this"

He chuckled.

"I love you, Sam"

"I love you too"

I never realized how much I would have happened if I did die, if I died, I would never speak to Carly again, I would never be able to give Nevel a huge kick in the butt, and I would have never been able to tell Freddie how I felt about him.

I am glad I'm alive.

I am glad I am able to feel love again. By my friends, my family, and Freddie.

"Freddie?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me one thing?"

"Anything"

"Promise to stick by me, no matter what?"

He smiled.

"Of course. I promise"

I smiled and I kissed him again.

And I am glad that I will never go through that kind of hurt that I went through in the past months again, and if I did, at least I would have Freddie, Carly, Spencer, and my mom, with me.

* * *

End of chapter and of story! Should I do an epilouge? Let me know! Please review!


End file.
